We humans have basic needs that need to be met to become fulfilled adults.  How these needs are being met – or not – determine everything from how we make life choices to our ability to connect with others and develop healthy relationships.  These needs are the force behind what and how we think and what we do. Yet, until we become aware of them, we may not know they are guiding our lives from behind the scenes.

So, what are these powerful, life-determining forces?

One of the world’s top personal development experts, Tony Robbins, teaches there are six of them.

• Need 1: Certainty – need for safety, stability, security, comfort, order, predictability, control, and consistency.
• Need 2: Uncertainty – need for variety, surprise, challenges, excitement, difference, chaos, adventure, change, and novelty.
• Need 3: Significance – need to have meaning, feel special, needed, and wanted, sense of importance, and worthy of love.
• Need 4: Love & Connection – need for communication, unified, approval, and attachment – to feel connected with, intimate and loved by other human beings.
• Need 5: Growth – need for constant emotional, intellectual, and spiritual development.
• Need 6: Contribution – need to give beyond ourselves, care, protect, and serve others.

When I first read this list many years ago, I squirmed at the thought we need uncertainty as much as we need certainty. I had experienced some pretty uncertain times in my life and did not connect them to warm and fuzzy feelings. How can uncertainty (especially chaos !!!) be a basic need, right up there with certainty and love?

To be successful, happy humans, aren’t we supposed to keep our eye on the ball, our ducks in a row, set goals, and go straight for them?  How does uncertainty fit into that model of life?  Yes, surprises can be nice, like getting roses for no reason at all or hearing from someone you haven’t talked to in years. And I love going on adventures, like backpacking into the Tetons or zip-lining through a Costa Rican jungle.